How to Spot & Stop a Psychic Bully
Years ago when I was working in a spiritual bookshop (East West Books NYC, for those of you who might remember), a Reiki “Master” sauntered in and paraded through the crystal section, talking about her great abilities to attract abundance and heal people. My solar plexus immediately tensed, putting me on high alert that something energetically was definitely off.
Sure enough, she turned and looked at me, reached into my aura to sense the energy of my chakras, and said to me “Your solar plexus is off and your heart has wounding, but apart from that you’re ok.” I moved away from her and retorted “Well if you truly were a master, you’d know not to violate my boundaries!” She was at first shocked, and then gave me a scathing look before moving on.
That was a classic example of psychic bullying, when someone either intuitively or energetically violates your boundaries (aka. free will) by not first asking your permission, or who diminishes the state of your energy or your own spiritual abilities for their own benefit.
Other examples of psychic bullying include:
- Reading your thoughts, feelings, or providing guidance or insight without first receiving your permission.
- Manipulating your energy or your energy field without asking (my favorite was hearing about a guy in a crystal shop who walks over and starts passing a random, un-cleared crystal through your energy field, telling you to sense its vibration. Seriously dude?).
- Diminishing, questioning, or dismissing your own psychic or intuitive insight in favor of aggrandizing and affirming their own.
- Insisting that they foretell future events to you when you make it clear you don’t want to know.
- Putting down your psychic, healing, or spiritual abilities.
- Seeking to steal or snuff out your light by leading you into an imbalanced teacher (guru) – student (follower) relationship. They impress upon you how evolved or learned they are compared to you, and impose the feeling or belief that you need their guidance and/or training in order to evolve (this can quickly cross over into psychic vampirism, where someone is draining or feeding off your energy).
- Projecting dominating energy onto you in order to intimidate and/or suppress you (a form of psychic attack).
Having experienced pretty much all of these forms of psychic bullying, it’s a topic that can really drive me crazy (if I let it). Let’s put this straight: if it’s not appropriate for you to reach over and grab my boob and start describing it to me, how is it appropriate for you to reach into my aura and start sensing my chakras?!
A healthy sense of, and respect for, psychic and spiritual boundaries is sadly not a topic discussed enough in this community. It’s certainly not taught sufficiently: there are a lot of people out there who are quite innocently violating boundaries without necessarily meaning to bully.
But just because you are psychic and/or intuitive does not entitle you to information or access to another person or their energy! It’s called the Law of Free Will: you need a person’s permission, otherwise you’re violating that law and creating karma.
Real bullies thrive off their behavior. Just like any other bully, it’s how they feel better about themselves. We all have complete authority over our own energy systems, so this is not something you have to suffer gladly. In fact, you have a responsibility to yourself and your soul to not allow this behavior.
Here are some steps you can take to cope with a psychic bully:
- Disengage. Immediately. If you experience someone manipulating or reading your energy without your permission, or providing counsel you did not seek, physically step back from them, ask them politely but firmly to stop, and either put your hand up with your palm facing towards them, or imagine a brick wall dropping down between the two of you. That should immediately sever the energy connection while affirming your boundary.
- Ground yourself. Bullying is always about power, and the easiest way for you to stay connected with your own is to make sure that you’re feeling grounded. Take a couple of deep, steadying breaths, and feel your energy flowing all the way down through your feet, into the ground, and back up again.
- Look them in the eye. Now, this is different advice from dealing with vampirism, where you’d be encouraged to avoid looking a person in the eye. With a psychic bully, staring them square in the eye is affirming your authority. It’s also making it clear that you’re seeing what they’re doing (and a lot of them, especially the ones who are passing themselves off as holier-than-thou, do not want to be truly seen). The important note here is to do it calmly and assuredly. This is not an act of aggression, it’s a communication of self-sovereignty.
- Reaffirm and reassure yourself. Everyone has intuition, everyone has psychic abilities, and everyone has a spiritual purpose on this planet. Trust that you’re exactly where you need to be in your process. Spirit has not sent you this person to affirm your gifts or qualify your talents, nor for them to be your next great spiritual teacher. Spirit has sent them to you to help teach you about your own authority. That’s it.
- Laugh them off, gently. In the words of the good witch Glenda “Hahaha, you have no power here! Be gone…”. Taking a bully too seriously or allowing them to further upset you won’t serve you. In fact, it can shift the power balance back in their favor. Let’s face it – healthy, empowered people don’t bully. Bullies learn from having been bullied. If you can muster compassion for them, then great, but if not, see if for what it is, shake your head, and move on from them.
- Wear crystals for support. Aqua aura quartz (energy protection against bullying), black tourmaline (neutralizing energy), hematite (courage & steadfastness), and red jasper (strength of conviction) are all great choices, or you can wear all four in a pouch if you feel you need the full backup.
Are you a psychic bully? If so, take a good look at why you’re behaving this way. You are not a bad person, but your insecurities are getting in your way and harming your relationships with other people. Seek out validation through yourself and from Spirit, and allow the behavior (and its underlying need) to dissolve.
If you need to learn how to shield and protect your energy better, check out my 4-hour video course "Psychic Shield: Energy Protection for Healers & Empaths"